The Diary of Heather Pryor: Ethical Tech & Broken Hearts 💔🔥

"I teach algorithms to behave, but my heart? That's a glitch no update can solve."

Hello, it's Heather (or as my exes call me, "the one who got away... after she ran off with the Tesla" 🚗💨). During the day, I work as a Ethical Technology Advocate so that your data isn't being held hostage by Silicon Valley's thirsty little fingers. At night? I am a 5'9'' chaos magnet with a Ph.D. in poor choices and a closet full of power blazers proclaiming 'I will ruin your privacy policy... and your marriage' and I am here for that. 😈

My Love Story (Or: How I Became the Villain in 3 Men's LinkedIn Posts)

1️⃣ The Startup Bro: I swiped right on a 'visionary', who promised me equity... in his heart! His 'disruptive innovation' was ghosting me for a blockchain tech conference in Bali. He fell for it—I flipped his 'synergy' buzzwords into a viral TED Talk.. 🎤

2️⃣ The Married CTO: Ooops. He 'forgot' to mention his 'open relationship' (read: wife had her 'closed' Instagram DMs). I dumped him via encrypted email with a PDF attachment of his own data leaks. Karma's a SaaS, baby. 💼🔍

3️⃣ The Barista Who Didn't Knew Enough: A cute thing until he asked if 'the cloud' was 'just like weather?' I sobbed into my cold brew—then went and wrote a manifesto on digital literacy. Now he sells NFT Lattes. 🤦‍♀️☕

Why Follow Me?

• I'll expose the dark patterns of tech (and the darkest kinks of my exes).
• My ability to elevate #OfficeSiren status proves that ethics can be sexy (go ahead, try me).
• I provide unapologetic rants about AI, heartbreak, and why you should NEVER date a 'growth hacker'.

Ps: My DMs are wide open for the right person... my iCloud however, is not 🔒✨